Borderline.

Every symptom I read, every test I take points to that. Borderline Personality Disorder. It's so odd how much those symptoms describe me. So do I have it? Dunno. I'm not a doctor. But sometimes, my moods get to the point where they scare the crap out of me. Even earlier today, Bret and I had a huge fight over nothing. And I was furious and crying, and I just couldn't control it. And I knew I was wrong. A little bit later, I'm perfectly fine. I don't get it. I self-injure. My self-image is constantly changing. Today, I felt damn good. A few days ago I felt like a whale, disgusting and lumpy and just impossible to look at. Oh, there. Abandonment issues. Just ask my mother. I can't be left alone. Anywhere. It's terrifying. And anytime, I feel everyone is going to leave me. And I'll be alone all over again. That thought is always there. Shocker: "Higher likelihood you have Borderline Personality Disorder". Thats what it always says. So, I'm finally gonna take the advice they give me. "Some of the symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder can be treated through therapy and medications. Please print out your BPD test and score and share it with your doctor or therapist."
I don't have a printer for my laptop. But my score is 9/10. And that's how everything says. So I'll print this blog out soon and bring it to my next appointment. Maybe this can help. Maybe I'm hopeless.