Happy New Year?

Let's see what happened on New Years:
Went to the party I was invited to. The host fucked his girlfriend and went to sleep
Went home. Accidentally dropped the single, 100% full bottle of smirnoff, breaking on impact.
Received a call from my brother and his friend to come to my dad's house where my brother was having a huge party.
Met my brother upstairs in the completely dark bathroom with a glass of water and some bread crying. Listened to him stumble over his words as he described how the girl he liked brought someone else to the party. Then, listened to him yell about how much he didn't love our dad and how he hated him for fucking up our lives.
Went downstairs to socialize with the 3 friends I'd come with and a guy who I'd known around school.
Came back home to find 3 more of my friends already drunk.
Got wasted. Watched 2 of my friends puke in separate bathrooms. Learned two of my friends had sex in my basement.
Got 4 of my friends and a stranger randomly at my house. Tried to kick them out. Ran outside to cry/bawl. Twice. Ended up with more alcohol. Got 4 of them to leave while one decided to spend the night.
Got kissed by my friend's ex-boyfriend's friend. Pushed him away.
Decided it was time for everyone to sleep. Asked the oldest person there and one of my most trusted friends, (let's just call him the ass) to watch my friend to make sure one of the guys didn't touch her or anything because she was extremely drunk.
Woke up at 8 am to my friend crying, saying the "the ass" molested her while she was sleeping.
Kicked him out and won't talk to him ever again.
Welcome to 2010.

I Hate My Life

No, that's not the most accurate statement. I hate myself; therefore, I want to end my life. Deal? They're fading to scars now.. I wish I could create more but I have to wait til he leaves. And that will be appropriate as I'll already be upset. No matter how long we spend together- before, after, and sometimes during, I'm depressed. I want to die. I hate everything and I just want to cry. I don't think I've been so honest about it until now. I really hope no one I know sees this. Only 2-3 people. By 2-3, I mean 3 people know but the third doesn't know the extent. Everything makes me want to cry. I can't even handle school anymore. I go for half the day, then make up some excuse to leave or skip. I haven't been to my last 2 hours for 3 classes in a row. I have no will to even go. I hardly even care about going to college anymore. I don't want to feel like this. I hate this. I hate myself for hating myself. And I hate myself for that too. What the hell is wrong with me and why am I so fucked up?