I Think

I think I'll remember this time. I'm so calm right now. I'm not freaking out like last time, and I don't feel crazy. I am simply calm. The blood is helping so much. I just need to see the bleeding.

Hm, You know what

You know what the best way to tell your best friend that you're there for her. Tell her to shut up and that you don't wanna talk about it. That's always what makes me feel better. Um, not? I'm glad you can be there for me or at least pretend to be. I can't take more of your shit. I'm sick of being treated like nothing to you. It's not fair at ALL to me. I don't care what you say.

Broken

I'm completely broken. I don't know how, or why, or when; I just am. I can't fix myself. My friends can't fix me. Not even my boyfriend. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so lost and I'm sick of breaking down every other day. I can't even think of what to say. I just want to take my brain out, put it on a table, and tell somebody to fix it. I need to be fixed. That's all I want. Is this a test from God? To see if I can fix myself? If it is, I'm sorry, God, I'm failing. I need help but I can't ask anyone.

Empty

Am I empty of blood now as well? I can feel the pain, slightly. And I can hear my skin ripping. But nothing comes out. Nothing. I guess I'll have to keep trying til it comes. There has to be something sharper than this.