I Hate My Life

No, that's not the most accurate statement. I hate myself; therefore, I want to end my life. Deal? They're fading to scars now.. I wish I could create more but I have to wait til he leaves. And that will be appropriate as I'll already be upset. No matter how long we spend together- before, after, and sometimes during, I'm depressed. I want to die. I hate everything and I just want to cry. I don't think I've been so honest about it until now. I really hope no one I know sees this. Only 2-3 people. By 2-3, I mean 3 people know but the third doesn't know the extent. Everything makes me want to cry. I can't even handle school anymore. I go for half the day, then make up some excuse to leave or skip. I haven't been to my last 2 hours for 3 classes in a row. I have no will to even go. I hardly even care about going to college anymore. I don't want to feel like this. I hate this. I hate myself for hating myself. And I hate myself for that too. What the hell is wrong with me and why am I so fucked up?